NCIS - Los Angeles


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Callen: Is there a reason we're not meeting in a bar right now?
Gibbs: Well, yeah. It's 10 o'clock in the morning.
Callen: I don't know what's worse: getting older or getting wiser.

(Hetty finds Sam punching a punching bag)
Sam: Why does something have to be wrong? Can't a guy just get some exercise?
Hetty: Pilates is exercise. Beating the hell out of something is an aggressive expression of male frustration.

Callen: Bad news is, our only lead in this case is dead. Good news is, you're off the hook for date number two.
Kensi: Sure, hop on the Kensi-Abuse train while there's still room.


Kensi Blye: I hotwired a Cessna once.
Marty Deeks: Why? Seriously, why would you need to hotwire a airplane?

Marty Deeks: What's your distress word?
Sam Hanna: Deeks.
Marty Deeks: Good luck using that in a sentence.

Marty Deeks: Hospital admin asked me for my next of kin. Who should I - who should I put down?
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Lange. Henrietta.

(The team is discussing possible activities for their group outing.)
Kensi: Cowboy bar on Sunset?
Callen: With the mechanical bull?
Kensi: Yeah!
Callen: No! Hetty plus mechanical bull plus tequila shots equals bar fight. Trust me I've been there.

Sam: Hey, Kensi.
Kensi: Yeah.
Sam: What happens when Mercury is in retrograde?
Kensi: Deeks gets retro-annoying.
Deeks: Wow.
Kensi: Oh, come on. Problems happen all the time, and three times a year, we have to blame it on Mercury? Ridiculous.
Sam: Sounds like an urban myth.
Callen: It's more like a superstition.
Deeks: Don't do it, don't taunt Mercury.
Callen: Or what, the guy in the chariot's gonna stop pulling the sun around the Earth.