know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things, and then wonders
why his life sucks? Well... that was me. Every time something good
happened to me, something bad was always waiting around the corner.
Karma. That's when I realised I had to change. So, I made a list of
everything bad I've ever done and, one by one I'm going to make up for
all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My name is
Randy: I should be on that show where you have to remember the names of things. What's it called again?
Earl: Don't they have special bars for the queers--I'm sorry, homosexual Americans?
scared of stuff...like sewer gators. You know, they might come up and
bite me when I sit on the toilet, so most times I just...hover."
"Too bad it didn't thunder when you said that. That would have been cool. Like you're an evil genius or something."
can't believe there's a hole behind this picture. That's a relief. Last
week it was banging on the wall and I thought Jesus was mad at me for
putting that Darwin fish on the back of the car. I guess it was just
"Ain't no use running, fool! I know where your mama parks your house!"
Karma. You gotta love it!
Yeah, I'm glad she's not dead any more. Being dead is definitely worse
than being alive. When you're dead you can't do all the cool stuff you
can do when you're alive. You and I, we can do all kinds of cool stuff
cuz we're living, we're not dead, we're alive. If we were dead we
wouldn't be able to do all the cool stuff we can do, because we're
alive. Dead people can't do cool stuff. Only people that are alive can
do cool stuff, cuz they're living, and you have to be living to be able
to do cool stuff. You have to be alive. Yeah, 'cept when you're alive
sometimes bad stuff happens too. Like sometimes you can get into a car
wreck, or you can have a headache or twist your ankle or even stub your
big toe... So being alive is kinda hard too, but I think it's definitely
better than being dead...
No. [Closes the door again]
Look at that bird up there! How the hell do they stay up there like that?